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CIA angajaza agent

CIA cauta sa angajeze un agent-asasin. Dupa multe interviuri, teste etc, ramân 3 finalisti pentru post:
doi barbati si o femeie.
Pentru testul final, primul barbat este dus lânga o usa de metal, i se da un pistol si i se spune:
“Trebuie sa stim daca poti îndeplini orice misiune, indiferent de circumstante.
Dincolo de aceasta usa se afla sotia ta, asezata pe un scaun. Ucide-o!!!”
Barbatul spune:
“Glumiti!!! Nu mi-as putea ucide nevasta!!!”
“Atunci nu esti potrivit pentru post, la revedere”.
Al doilea barbat primeste instructiunile, ia pistolul, intra în camera si, dupa cinci minute de liniste, iese afara cu ochii în lacrimi si spune: “Am încercat, dar mi-e imposibil sa-mi ucid nevasta, îmi pare rau….”
Vine rândul femeii. I se spune ca trebuie sa-si ucida barbatul, ia pistolul, intra în camera si imediat se aud mai multe împuscaturi, apoi strigate, troznete, lovituri în pereti. Dupa câteva minute, se face liniste, iar femeia iese pe usa, stergându-se de transpiratie:
“Pistolul pe care mi l-ati dat era încarcat cu gloante oarbe, asa ca a trebuit sa-l omor cu scaunul.”

Morala: Femeile sunt diferite. Nu va puneti cu ele.

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REGULILE CASATORIEI

Eu si sotia mea cunoastem secretul pt a mentine o casatorie solida:

1. De doua ori pe saptamana mergem intr-un restaurant dragut, bem vin, mincare buna si companie… ea merge marti, eu vineri.

2. Dormim in paturi separate, eu la Milano, ea la Genova.

3. O duc peste tot, dar ea reuseste mereu sa gaseasca drumul inapoi.

4. Am intrebat-o unde vrea sa mearga pentru aniversarea casatoriei si mi-a raspuns: “intr-un loc unde nu am mai fost demult”. I-am sugerat bucataria.

5. Ne tinem de mina mereu. Daca nu o fac, incepe sa cheltuiasca.

6. Are un robot de bucatarie electric, un storcator electric, un prajitor electric si zice ca sint prea multe in casa, nu are loc de ele unde sa stea. Asa ca i-am cumparat un scaun electric.

7. Mi-a spus ca masina nu merge, ca are apa in carburator. Am intrebat unde e masina: “in lac”.

8. A facut o masca de argila. Pentru doua zile a fost frumoasa foc. Apoi si-a spalat masca de pe fata.

9. A urmarit camionul de gunoi, urlind dupa el: sunt in intirziere pt gunoi? Soferul a raspuns: nu, salta inauntru.

10. Aminteste-ti mereu, casatoria e prima cauza a divortului.

11. Deci, nu am vorbit sotiei mele pt 11 luni. Nu indrazneam sa o intrerup.

12. Ultima cearta a fost din cauza mea. A intrebat “ce e pe televizor”, iar eu am raspuns: “praf”.

13. La inceput, Dumnezeu a creat pamintul si s-a odihnit. Apoi a creat barbatul si s-a odihnit. Apoi a creat femeia. Si nici omul, nici Dumnezeu nu s-au mai odihnit niciodata.

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Dictionar vesel

amor = scurt atac de nebunie ce poate fi vindecat fie prin casatorie, fie
prin indepartarea pacientului de cauza care i-a produs-o;

arhitect = cineva care n-a fost destul de barbat ca sa devina inginer, dar
nici destul de gay ca sa se faca designer vestimentar;

bancher = cineva care iti imprumuta umbrela lui cand afara e soare si apoi
ti-o cere cand incepe sa ploua;

belladonna = in limba italiana – femeie frumoasa; in engleza, matraguna –
un foarte bun exemplu de omonime;

boy scout = un copil imbracat ca un tampit sub comanda unui tampit imbracat
ca un copil;

consultant = cineva care foloseste ceasul sotiei tale, iti spune cat e
ceasul si apoi iti cere bani pentru asta;

dans = frustrarea verticala a unei dorinte orizontale;

diplomat = cineva care-ti spune sa te duci dracului intr-un fel care te
face sa-ti incepi ziua cu dreptul;

dragoste (love) = cuvant din 4 litere, 2 vocale, 2 consoane si 2 idioti;

durere de cap = metoda contraceptiva cea mai des folosita de femei;

economist = un expert care va sti maine de ce ceea ce a prezis ca se va
intampla ieri nu s-a intamplat azi;

fidelitate = o puternica mancarime cu interdictia de a te scarpina;

indiferenta = atitudine adoptata de o femeie catre un barbat care n-o
intereseaza; interpretata de barbat ca ‘se lasa greu’;

intelectual = cineva capabil sa se gandeasca mai mult de 2 ore si la
altceva decat la sex;

munca in echipa = posibilitatea de a da vina pe altii;

nevasta = femeia care te incanta o luna si te descanta toata viata;

nimfomana = termen aplicat de fiecare barbat oricarei femei careia ii
place mai mult sexul decat lui;

prieten = definitia unei persoane de sex opus care are acel ‘nu stiu-ce’
care elimina orice dorinta de a incerca vreodata sa te culci cu el/ea;

preot = cineva caruia toti ii spun ‘parinte’, in afara de copiii lui, care
ii spun ‘domnule’;

programator = cineva care rezolva o problema pe care nu stiai ca o ai
intr-un fel pe care nu-l intelegi;

psiholog = cineva care se uita la oricine altcineva cand o femeie frumoasa
intra in incapere;

statistician = cineva care e bun la cifre dar nu are pic de personalitate
ca sa fie inginer;

usoara = termen aplicat oricarei femei care are aceeasi morala sexuala ca a
unui barbat;

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How to Recover from Reduced Functionality Mode (RFM) in Vista

Microsoft allows you to install and use Windows Vista for evaluation without license or product key for up to 30 days. Within these 30 days, you must activate the Vista system with a valid product key. Else, if you forget to activate your computer, or you’re using illegal and pirated product key, Windows Vista will go into Reduced Functionality Mode (RFM), where you basically can no longer use the system for productivity works until you successfully activate Vista with a licensed product key.

Windows Activation

Activate Windows Now

Your activation period has expired and Windows is no longer working.
To use Windows you must activate this copy of Windows.

If you’re still not yet ready to activate your copy of Vista and want to further extend the activation period another 30 days, and also want to exit or recover from Reduced Functionality Mode so that you can continue using Vista without reinstalling, here’s a simple hack to crack the RFM. The trick is made possible by Microsoft which still allow users to use Internet Explorer in RFM (probably do so so that you will can buy a license online), which can be used to break out of Reduced Functionality mode by running an explorer interface to open an administrative level command prompt and run the commands required to reset your activation period and recover use of your computer and desktop.

This crack RFM trick is simplified from {previous recover from RFM guide} to make it easier to understand.
1. On the Windows Activation – Activate Windows Now screen shown above, click on Access your computer with reduced functionality option.
2. Once the Internet Explorer loads, click on File on menu bar and then select Open on the pull-down menu.
3. On the Open dialog window, type in C:\Windows\Explorer.exe and then click OK.
4. Click OK button on “IE needs to open a new window to open this webpage” confirmation prompt.
5. Click Run button on “File Download – Security Warning” dialog prompt.
6. Click on Run button on “File Download – Security Warning” warning dialog related to unknown and not verified publisher.
7. User shell will load, and the desktop, taskbar, start menu and etc will be restored.
8. The computer has recovered from Reduced Functionality for this session. To permanently stop RFM to happen again, {Vista has to be rearmed}.
9. Click on the Start button.
10. Type Cmd in Start Search box.
11. A program shortcut will show up in the Start panel search results. Right click on the shortcut and select Run as Administrator.
12. In the Command Prompt window, type in the following command and then hit Enter:
slmgr.vbs -rearm
13. Restart computer.

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This page contains both secure and nonsecure items

A solution to avoiding the warning:

*

When you receive the error message, click Yes.
*

In Internet Explorer, go to Tools, Internet Options, click the Security tab; make sure that in “Select a zone…” window that Internet is selected.
*

Click Custom Level and scroll down about half way to “Display mixed content” in the Miscellaneous section.
*

Change it from Prompt to Enable.
*

Click OK, Yes, and OK. The change should take effect immediately.

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Ne folosim doar 10% din capacitatea cerebrala. Mit sau realitate?

Ce spun sustinatorii mitului.

Conceptia ca oamenii si-ar folosi doar o mica parte din creierul lor, 10% sau chiar mai putin, este larg raspandita in intreaga lume iar explicatiile sunt diverse. Exista asocieri chiar si cu marele Albert Einstein despre care se spune ca isi folosea ceva mai mult din capacitatea sa cerebrala, reusind astfel sa faca descoperiri ce au shimbat lumea.

Se presupune ca restul de 90% din “puterea” creierului este inactiva si ca daca acest potential ar fi exploatat oamenii ar putea sa se teleporteze, sa citeasca ganduri sau sa dobandeasca alte abilitati paranormale. De asemenea, sustinatorii mitului propun diverse exercitii esoterice pe care le putem face pentru a spori acest mic procent de utilizare a creierului. Activarea intregului creier necesita de cele mai multe ori prezenta unor “antrenori initiati” care in ciuda preturilor destul de piperate se bucura de un oarecare succes in tarile occidentale, mai ales in Statele Unite.

Ce releva studiile de specialitate.

Niciunul dintre sustinatorii afirmatiei conform careia ne folosim doar un mic procent din capacitatea cerebrala sau care pretind ca imbunatatesc aceast procent prin diverse activitati nu au facut cercetari prin care sa argumenteze stiintific teoriile enuntate. In schimb, specialistii din medicina si psihologie au demonstrat practic ca oamenii isi folosesc creierul in proportie de aproape 100% pe parcursul unei zile obisnuite. Mai mult, toate ariile creierului sunt folosite pentru anumite functii. Este adevarat ca nu utilizam toate zonele cerebrale in acelasi timp, dar cu siguranta ajungem sa le folosim alternativ in totalitate.

Mitul de mai sus isi are probabil originile in cercetarile psihologului american William James, care a afirmat in fata audientei sale ca ne folosim doar 10% din potentialul intelectual, afirmatie extrem de plauzibila. Este adevarat ca oamenii ar putea, de exemplu, sa memoreze mai multe informatii sau sa invete mult mai multe lucruri. Memoria pe termen lung are capacitate imposibil de masurat deci putem asimila vaste cantitati de informatii. De asemenea putem sa citim mai mult, sa practicam diferite sporturi, sa invatam sa cantam la anumite instrumente, sa pictam sau sa compunem poezii. Fiecare dintre noi are un potential inca neexploatat dar care nu se rezuma nicidecum la procentul din creier pe care il folosim.

Creierul este un organ extrem de important in procesul de evolutie, fiind de asemenea si foarte costisitor in ceea ce priveste resursele folosite. In ciuda dimensiunilor sale mici in raport cu restul corpului (creierul reprezinta doar 2% din greutatea corporala), el are nevoie de aproape 20% din cantitatea de oxigen pe care o respiram si consuma mai multa energie decat oricare alt organ. Daca intr-adevar creierul ar fi in proportie de 90% nefolosit, evolutia speciei ar fi determinat diminuarea acestor costuri imense, impiedicand dezvoltatarea lui.

Studiile din domeniul neuroimagisticii (tomografia cu emisie de pozitroni – PET sau rezonanta magnetica functionala – fMRI) care permit monitorizarea activitatii cerebrale confirma ca toata capacitatea creierului este utilizata, chiar si in timpul somnului existand activitate in toate ariile cerebrale. Doar in cazul unor leziuni mai grave exista anumite arii “adormite”.

Extrem de multe cercetari au fost efectuate in vederea localizarii functiilor pe zone specifice ale creierului. S-a descoperit ca fiecare zona din creier are o functie anume de procesare a informatiei si nu a fost descoperita nicio arie nefolosita, fapt ce confirma utilizarea integrala a capacitatii cerebrale. De asemenea, daca un procent atat de mare din creier nu ar fi folosit, atunci cu siguranta acest lucru ar duce la degenerarea masiva a tesutului cerebral pana la varsta adulta.

In concluzie… este doar un mit.

Acestea sunt doar cateva dintre explicatiile stiintifice existente care demonteaza mitul cu privire la “cele 10 procente”. Daca aprofundam, gasim dovezi si mai specifice ce contribuie la infirmarea acestei legende extrem de cunoscute, dar prea tehnice pentru a fi prezentate in acest articol.

In concluzie, subliniez ca exista un potential personal al fiecaruia dintre noi pe care il putem dezvolta si care este la indemana oricui. Nu avem nevoie de o “activare miraculoasa” a creierului! Atat timp cat ne constientizam potentialul si ne antrenam in mod practic abilitatile nimic nu ne opreste sa realizam lucruri extraordinare. Citandu-l pe Albert Einstein: “Important este sa nu te opresti din a-ti pune intrebari!”

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Adding a Hard Drive in Linux

Adding New Drives
There are many reasons why you would need to add a new drive to your Linux box. You might have out-grown your current space limitations, or you may want to add a separate drive for a specific project or service. In any case, if you follow this guide, you should have no problems. First, you must be familiar with the naming scheme Linux uses for your drives. For purposes if this article, everything highlighted in blue is the command you must type at the terminal prompt. Anything hightlighted in red indicates changes made by a previous command or something you should pay special attention to. Anything highlighted in green is simply the standard output from a terminal or issued command. The machine used for this guide is running Red Hat Entperise Linux.

Conventional Naming
This article assumes you know the difference between primary, extended and logical partitions. In the following example, I added a SCSI hard drive with one primary partition. With that being said, I’ll continue explaining the naming scheme. Linux gives each drive a 3 letter name followed by a partition number. If you are using IDE drives, these will all be named hd**. Where hd denotes the drive and the next two variables are aassociated with IDE order (primary master, primary slave, etc) and partition number. So, your primary master drive will always be named hda. If you are using SCSI drives, everything remains the same except instead of using hd, drives are named sd**. Your SCSI primary master drive will always be named sda. All of these devices reside under the /dev portion of your Linux file system. For instance, as root, you can issue the following command to view the naming combinations possible for your system. Remember, in this example, I am using SCSI hardware. If you are using IDE, simply use hd is place of sd here.

[root@roswell root]# ls /dev/sda*
/dev/sda /dev/sdab10 /dev/sdad12 /dev/sdaf14 /dev/sdah2 /dev/sdaj4 /dev/sdal6
/dev/sda1 /dev/sdab11 /dev/sdad13 /dev/sdaf15 /dev/sdah3 /dev/sdaj5 /dev/sdal7
/dev/sda10 /dev/sdab12 /dev/sdad14 /dev/sdaf2 /dev/sdah4 /dev/sdaj6 /dev/sdal8
/dev/sda11 /dev/sdab13 /dev/sdad15 /dev/sdaf3 /dev/sdah5 /dev/sdaj7 /dev/sdal9
/dev/sda12 /dev/sdab14 /dev/sdad2 /dev/sdaf4 /dev/sdah6 /dev/sdaj8 /dev/sdam
/dev/sda13 /dev/sdab15 /dev/sdad3 /dev/sdaf5 /dev/sdah7 /dev/sdaj9 /dev/sdam1
/dev/sda14 /dev/sdab2 /dev/sdad4 /dev/sdaf6 /dev/sdah8 /dev/sdak /dev/sdam10
—-
Some results omitted**
—-
[root@roswell root]#

Note that I omitted a large portion of the results because they were huge! Remember that this list is not dependent on the current number of hard drives in the system, but the maximum naming possibilities for any number of drives and partitions. Do not be surprised if your results are rather lengthy as well.

Creating, Mounting, and Configuration New Partitions
Before adding an extra drive, this machine had 2 physical drives. Both of them were named accordingly (sda and sdb) before the new drive was added. The second drive containing the swap partitions was automatically renamed when the new drive was added. Notice the command and output below:

[root@roswell root]# df -h
Filesystem Size Used Avail Use% Mounted on
/dev/sda1 8.3G 2.4G 5.5G 30% /
/dev/sda2 99M 26M 69M 27% /boot
/dev/sdc1 16G 13G 2.3G 85% /export <-- old sdb renamed to sdc by the Linux none 250M 0 250M 0% /dev/shm [root@roswell root]# This command simply lists all currently mounted drives, their names, and space usage. Notice that sdb is not presently mounted. However, we know that it exists otherwise, there would not be an sdc present. I could not add my new drive as sdc because my SCSI hotswap drive cage reserves the first two slots for 1.5" drives. So I was forced to make the new drive sdb because it is a 1.5" drive. Setting Partitions You should be fairly familiar with fdisk. The commands are somewhat different than it's DOS equivalent. See the following commands and output: [root@roswell root]# fdisk /dev/sdb Command (m for help): m Command action a toggle a bootable flag b edit bsd disklabel c toggle the dos compatibility flag d delete a partition l list known partition types m print this menu n add a new partition o create a new empty DOS partition table p print the partition table q quit without saving changes s create a new empty Sun disklabel t change a partition's system id u change display/entry units v verify the partition table w write table to disk and exit x extra functionality (experts only) Command (m for help): If there is a problem, and there is no drive associated with /dev/sdb, you will get an error message. Remember, that nothing will actually be executed until you issue a w command. It's always a good idea to read through the variables of your commands. Doing so will ensure that you aren't forgetting anything. Let's get started! Command (m for help): p Disk /dev/sdb: 50.0 GB, 50019202560 bytes 255 heads, 63 sectors/track, 6081 cylinders Units = cylinders of 16065 * 512 = 8225280 bytes Device Boot Start End Blocks Id System Command (m for help): If you issue a p command, you will see any partitions that currently exist on the drive. You can see by the output above there are no existing partitions. This drive is un-partitionedd and unformatted. To create a new partition, is the n command. Command (m for help): n Command action e extended p primary partition (1-4) p Partition number (1-4): 1 First cylinder (1-6081, default 1): 1 Last cylinder or +size or +sizeM or +sizeK (1-6081, default 6081): 6081 Command (m for help): In the output above notice that interval I selected for the cylinders. Using the entire range allows you create one partition across the entire drive. So, in order to create a primary partition on /dev/sdb/ we issued the following commands: n (creates a new partition) p (creates a primary partition) 1 (the number 1 denotes the partition will be /dev/sdb1) We can check the partition specifications we just entered by using the p command again. Command (m for help): p Disk /dev/sdb: 50.0 GB, 50019202560 bytes 255 heads, 63 sectors/track, 6081 cylinders Units = cylinders of 16065 * 512 = 8225280 bytes Device Boot Start End Blocks Id System /dev/sdb1 1 6081 48845601 83 Linux Command (m for help): Notice the new partition (highlighted in red). However, we must issue a w command to finalize it. If you messed anything up, you can use the d command and specify which partition you want to delete. Command (m for help): w The partition table has been altered! Calling ioctl() to re-read partition table. Syncing disks. [root@roswell root]# Formatting Now that the partition has been created, you need to format the drive. You can format it with almost any file system you wish. However, the most common Linux formats are ext2 and ext3. Ext3 is simply a candy coated version of ext2 that adds a logging feature. You must specify which partition to format by calling the device and partition number like this: [root@roswell root]# mkfs -t ext3 /dev/sdb1 mke2fs 1.32 (09-Nov-2002) Filesystem label= OS type: Linux Block size=4096 (log=2) Fragment size=4096 (log=2) 6111232 inodes, 12211400 blocks 610570 blocks (5.00%) reserved for the super user First data block=0 373 block groups 32768 blocks per group, 32768 fragments per group 16384 inodes per group Superblock backups stored on blocks: 32768, 98304, 163840, 229376, 294912, 819200, 884736, 1605632, 2654208, 4096000, 7962624, 11239424 Writing inode tables: done Creating journal (8192 blocks): done Writing superblocks and filesystem accounting information: done This filesystem will be automatically checked every 38 mounts or 180 days, whichever comes first. Use tune2fs -c or -i to override. [root@roswell root]# What did we do there? Using the mkfs (make file system) command, we specified the type (using the -t) ext3 using the device and partition name (/dev/sdb1). You have successfull partitioned and formatted your new drive. Wait, you're not done yet. You will want to mount this partition to make it usable. You will also want this partition to mount automatically when you reboot the machine. Mounting In order to automatically mount a partition, you must edit the /etc/fstab file. The fstab file tells Linux where to mount all partitions located within the system. The output below shows the current fstab file before including the newly added drive: [root@roswell root]# vi /etc/fstab LABEL=/ / ext3 defaults 1 1 LABEL=/boot /boot ext3 defaults 1 2 none /dev/pts devpts gid=5,mode=620 0 0 LABEL=/export /export ext3 defaults 1 2 none /proc proc defaults 0 0 none /dev/shm tmpfs defaults 0 0 /dev/sdb2 swap swap defaults 0 0 /dev/cdrom /mnt/cdrom udf,iso9660 noauto,owner,kudzu,ro 0 0 /dev/fd0 /mnt/floppy auto noauto,owner,kudzu 0 0 You may notice I viewed this file using vi. Vi is a simple text editor that may or may not be loaded on your Linux system. It is somewhat similar to emacs. In any case, both programs can perform the same task. We will mount the new partition as /media. Remember to create a directory named media, otherwise fstab won't be able to mount the partition. It is shown high-lighted red in the output below: LABEL=/ / ext3 defaults 1 1 LABEL=/boot /boot ext3 defaults 1 2 none /dev/pts devpts gid=5,mode=620 0 0 LABEL=/export /export ext3 defaults 1 2 none /proc proc defaults 0 0 none /dev/shm tmpfs defaults 0 0 /dev/sdb1 /media ext3 defaults 1 2 /dev/sdb2 swap swap defaults 0 0 /dev/cdrom /mnt/cdrom udf,iso9660 noauto,owner,kudzu,ro 0 0 /dev/fd0 /mnt/floppy auto noauto,owner,kudzu 0 0 Next, issue a simple mount command providing the partition name: [root@roswell export]# mount /dev/sdb1 [root@roswell export]# You're all done! You will be able to access the /media folder immediately and after the machine reboots as fstab will automatically re-mount it for you. If you want to verify the partition is successfully present and mounted, use the following commands: [root@roswell media]# mount /dev/sda1 on / type ext3 (rw) none on /proc type proc (rw) none on /dev/pts type devpts (rw,gid=5,mode=620) usbdevfs on /proc/bus/usb type usbdevfs (rw) /dev/sda2 on /boot type ext3 (rw) /dev/sdc1 on /export type ext3 (rw) none on /dev/shm type tmpfs (rw) /dev/sdb1 on /media type ext3 (rw) [root@roswell media]# The red line shows our new drive freshly mounted. You can check the space usage if you issue the following command. [root@roswell media]# df -h Filesystem Size Used Avail Use% Mounted on /dev/sda1 8.3G 2.4G 5.5G 30% / /dev/sda2 99M 26M 69M 27% /boot /dev/sdc1 16G 13G 2.3G 85% /export none 250M 0 250M 0% /dev/shm /dev/sdb1 46G 33M 44G 1% /media [root@roswell media]# HAPPY MOUNTING 😉

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Era odata un print frumos, bogat si destept. Avea insa si un defect: era timid. Printul era indragostit de o printesa foarte frumoasa. Nu stia cum sa ii spuna ca o iubeste. Se gandeste si isi spune: “O invit diseara la o plimbare calare sub clar de luna, imi vopsesc inainte un sfert din cal in verde, iar cand ma va intreba de ce mi-am vopsit calul in verde ii voi spune: nu conteaza, important e ca te iubesc.”
Vine seara, ies la plimbare, printesa nu scoate o vorba toata seara. Se despart. A doua zi printul isi vopseste jumatate din cal in verde. “Cand ma va intreba de ce mi-am vopsit calul, ii voi raspunde: nu conteaza, important e ca te iubesc”, gandea printul. Seara la intalnire, se repeta tacerea de mormant. A treia seara printul isi vopseste tot calul in verde, din motivele cunoscute. Se plimba ce se plimba amandoi, la un moment dat printesa nu mai rabda tacerea si marturiseste:
– Printze, te iubesc!
Printul repede:
– Nu conteaza, important e ca mi-am vopsit calul in verde!

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Un militzian opreste o data o masina pe autostrada… In masina, soferul la volan si o maimutza in dreapta

– Actele zice militzianu si..platitzi amenda pt ca pasagerul din dreapta nu poarta centura.

– Cum domne’ sa poarte centura, unde scrie ca animalele tre’ sa poarte centura???

– Aaa.. e animal, da’ ce faceti cu el?…

– Pai..domne’.. io sunt sofer, merg mult si..din cand in cand ii mai trag cate o muie.

-Hai, domn’le faci misto de mine?.

– Nu domne, sa mor io, uite, stai sa vezi; si ia romanu maimutza si hop, s-apuca de treaba, si sugea maimutza, sugea.. si la un moment dat, soferu ii spune sa se opreasca, maimutza nimic.

– Stai fa nebuna ca acuma voiam doar sa-i arat militzianului.

Maimutza nimic. O ia soferu’, o da cu capu de bord, se potoleste maimutza.

– Ei?.. vezi?? zice soferu’. Nu vretzi sa incercatzi?

– Nu domn’le, pleaca de aici.

– Hai domnu militzian, ca e moka, nu te costa nimic, potzi sa incerci sa vezi si mata cum e.

– Auzi?? hai ca incerc si io, da stii ceva??

– ??!!!

– Pe mine sa nu ma dai cu capu de bord, ca ma doare capul.

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let’s talk about sex

1) Sexul e o curã bunã. De-a lungul experimentelor s-a descoperit cã femeile în timpul actului sexual secretã un hormon (estrogen) ce face pãrul mai lucios iar pielea devine mai netedã.

2) Sexul tandru reduce defectele pielii si eliminã aparitia exemelor, curãtã porii si pielea devine mai catifelatã.

3) În timpul actului sexulal se ard caloriile suplimentare acumulate în timpul cinei romantice…

4) Sexul este cel mai bun sport! Toti muschii corpului devin mai activi si tonifiati. E mai plãcut decât sã fi înotat 20 de bazine si nu avem nevoie de papuci speciali.

5) Sexul este o curã imediatã asupra depresiei. Secretã endorfine în sânge, si provoacã plãceri euforice de la care te simti bine.

6) Cu cât primesti mai mult sex, cu atât mai mult oferi. Activitatea sexualã produce o cantitate mare de feromoni, ce înnebuneste partenerul.

7) Sexul este cel mai bun calmant din lume, de zece ori este mai eficace decât valiumul.

8.) Un sãrut pe zi te tine departe pe stomatolog… sãrutul produce o asemenea cantitate de salivã ce curãtã resturile de mâncare din gurã, reduce producerea de acizi, ce provoacã aparitia tartrului si preîntâmpinã aparitia aftei.

9) Sexul reduce dureri de cap migrenice. Actul sexual reduce contractia vaselor capilare din creier.

10) Sexul repetat desfundã nasul înfundat, sexul este antihistamin natural. Poate ajuta la vindecarea astmei si a febrei.